how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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