Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize