I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize