whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
