Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
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