First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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