haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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