the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
She's JV to your varsity
you traded sex for a burrito?
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
