we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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