my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
