So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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