I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
