Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Randomize