This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize