She said her name was "party"
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
