I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize