I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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