The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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