i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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