He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
