I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
