he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Randomize