She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
how does that bad decision feel?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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