I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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