Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
