Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Randomize
