he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
