no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
