If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
