Don't you send me to vm
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
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