I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
