Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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