Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Randomize
