will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
