So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
