I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
