Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
