He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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