Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
