it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Houston, we have a blender
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Boobs speak an international language.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize
