I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
