I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
