Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Randomize
