Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Randomize
