oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
