He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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