Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
and she was petting her beer can
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
