Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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