What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Randomize
