dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Randomize
