Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
