I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
