Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
