I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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