I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
