how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
