Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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